[Tango-L] Some thoughts on connection

[HBBOOGIE1@aol.com]

Bob
I think what you’re trying to say is you  should never dance over the woman’
s level of skill. For those that think the  codes of tango are old and 
unimportant here is a perfect example of why tandas  are played. When you invite 
a woman to dance the first song is intended to keep  it simple and 
determine her level of skill.
The second song lets you both  relax a little more because you are now 
getting to know each other and you have  figured out at what level you will 
dance with this lady.
Now comes the third  and fourth songs and you have established a level of 
dance that both of you  enjoy and when it’s over you look forward to doing it 
again.

Never  humiliate the woman by attempting a figure that is beyond her  
capabilities.
Never attempt to teach on the dance floor.
Never talk while  dancing.
When you do any of these things you run the risk as being seen as a  payaso 
(clown) and you could lose the respect of others.


In a message  dated 11/16/2010 5:34:23 A.M. Pacific Standard Time, 
youngson at adam.com.au  writes:
It seems to me that the posts lately regarding the 4th of the 5  statements 
I made in my initial email: "To achieve connection in tango, the man  & the 
woman need to dance as equals", has developed into a constructive  
discussion on leading/following.  Nevertheless, the other 4 points that I  made 
seemed to have gained some acknowledgement in the various posts.  Yes,  these 
views do contains a lot of 'foreign' thinking, but many of us are  foreigners 
(including ex-pats) who love tango, without the benefit of being  raised in 
BsAs, and who grapple with what tango is all about.  That's  healthy. The 
views I expressed initially came up in discussions that I had with  many 
ladies who have been dancing in their local milongas in BsAs for decades -  I 
respect their view of what tango means to them.


But I'd like to  return to the statement above that one lady made to me - 
that we dance tango as  equals.  It immediately made me examine my mentality 
when I dance with  ladies who have different levels of skill and experience. 
 Many of the  women with whom I dance in my home city, are those that I 
have taught or  currently teach - and I make a point of dancing with beginners 
from my classes  at milongas.  Elsewhere, including in BsAs, I have danced 
with women who  force me to work hard on maintaining my axis with them.  The 
question I had  to ask myself was: "How can we dance as equals?" For me, 
it's about how I  approach this relationship with the woman I'm going to dance 
with.  If  there's any thought of superiority on my part or inferiority on 
hers, then the  relationship we are seeking is doomed from the start, and 
there won't be that  elusive connection in our tango.  This is what I found in 
BsAs - the women  I danced with love tango, some sang in my ear, and we 
danced for each oth!
er  - there was nothing in my mind that suggested anything but equality in 
the  relationships.  I also had to bring this same mentality into the 
embrace  when I danced with women who were clearly more experienced and skilled 
than me.  I used all of my skills to bring the music into our dance, and the 
women brought  themselves confidently into the collaboration.  I felt we were 
dancing as  equals.


Bob Youngson  
tangosalonadelaide.blogspot.com

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