[Tango-L] Some thoughts on connection

[Bob Youngson]

It seems to me that the posts lately regarding the 4th of the 5 statements I made in my initial email: "To achieve connection in tango, the man & the woman need to dance as equals", has developed into a constructive discussion on leading/following.  Nevertheless, the other 4 points that I made seemed to have gained some acknowledgement in the various posts.  Yes, these views do contains a lot of 'foreign' thinking, but many of us are foreigners (including ex-pats) who love tango, without the benefit of being raised in BsAs, and who grapple with what tango is all about.  That's healthy. The views I expressed initially came up in discussions that I had with many ladies who have been dancing in their local milongas in BsAs for decades - I respect their view of what tango means to them.


But I'd like to return to the statement above that one lady made to me - that we dance tango as equals.  It immediately made me examine my mentality when I dance with ladies who have different levels of skill and experience.  Many of the women with whom I dance in my home city, are those that I have taught or currently teach - and I make a point of dancing with beginners from my classes at milongas.  Elsewhere, including in BsAs, I have danced with women who force me to work hard on maintaining my axis with them.  The question I had to ask myself was: "How can we dance as equals?" For me, it's about how I approach this relationship with the woman I'm going to dance with.  If there's any thought of superiority on my part or inferiority on hers, then the relationship we are seeking is doomed from the start, and there won't be that elusive connection in our tango.  This is what I found in BsAs - the women I danced with love tango, some sang in my ear, and we danced for each other - there was nothing in my mind that suggested anything but equality in the relationships.  I also had to bring this same mentality into the embrace when I danced with women who were clearly more experienced and skilled than me. I used all of my skills to bring the music into our dance, and the women brought themselves confidently into the collaboration.  I felt we were dancing as equals.


Bob Youngson 
tangosalonadelaide.blogspot.com