[Tango-L] Is it Balls, or just a Heel?

[Steve Littler]

Mario wrote:
>  One hears a lot about how the guy has to 'take care of' the woman, provide safe space,
> listen to her, etc. etc.... what about the care and feeding of the lead????
The leader ultimately doesn't need it. He just leads. And is gracious 
about it.
>  Is it any wonder
> why there are so few gus around and why they drop to the wayside one by one????
>   
Usually I have found most women very encouraging as long as I was 
enthusiastic and polite.
> Last nite, a woman remarked to me in a practica; "Move your right arm lower you are lifting
> mine!"...hmm, that's a new complaint
I'm 6'1" tall and I've had it before with short women. I had my short 
lady instructor have to correct my technique on this so I don't repeat 
it. It was common of me to lift the woman up, especially on rock-step 
with pivot. That pulls the lady off balance/axis, makes her throw her 
butt backwards to recover her balance and is uncomfortable for her. I 
always take complaints back to my instructors to find out what to do to 
correct what I am doing.
>  and so I asked " How tall are you?" in order to file the information and apply it where appropriate.."What does that have to do with anything?" I get back in an incredulous, pissed-off voice
Depending on the context on how and when you asked it, it could be 
offensive, or she could have been in a bad mood. This always a 
possibility and so you always have to be gracious about these things, 
even when they go from bad to worse. If you counter-react and can't 
remain gracious under any circumstance no matter how rough, you'll get a 
reputation other than being always gracious.
> ....do I dance with her again?
If she has a usually warm personality, and you are a gracious gentleman, 
try to repair the upset, and yes, dance with her again once you have a 
warm feeling for her again.
>   Am I stupid?
>   
Heh - sure. But you can fix that. :-)

El Stevito de Gainesville