[Tango-L] Gricel - Codes

[Sergio Vandekier]

Pat reports a fight she observed at Gricel and adds "I feel this unusual incident didn't reflect so much on Gricel, because it was such an exception to the rule, but simply illustrated the fact that Porteños are fallible human beings, too."
 
1- "This unusual incident",...It should be very unusual as it goes against one of our traditions, when there is a need for discussion, an argument or a fight we normally go "outside", we do not do it in front of everyone else.
Alcohol drinking frequently plays a role in these cases.
 
2- "I feel this unusual incident didn't reflect so much on Gricel,"  I totally agree with this, my impression, not knowing about that particular incident, is that (most likely) the fight was not originated by something related to tango dancing or problems of navigation (this would be rather absurd).
 
The milonga provides the space where the traditional man/woman role is preserved. Even when in "real" life this is no longer the case.
 
The man is always in charge, he takes the indicative, he makes the decisions, no woman would attempt to pay for anything in the presence of a man, he always pays,etc, etc.
 
Both women and men preserve (in public) the masculine image of the man. Nothing is more threatening than to disrespect someone's masculinity and even worse due to women.
 
Nobody interferes with what seems to be a relationship between a man and a woman. That is the reason nobody will ask you to dance if you are perceived to be "even slightly" interested in a particular person.
 
Recently while I was in Mar del Plata, I danced with a lady psychologist that  goes to the milongas very frequently,  since she is one of the best dancers everybody asks her to dance, this has been so for years.
 
After a few dances I asked her if I could sit at her table.  I did that for a couple of milongas on different days, we sat together and danced together.  Then I got a flu and I did not go dancing for a whole week.
 
She went to the usual milongas for that week but nobody asked her to dance, even when she was alone.
 
There are many codes that we follow unconsciously, for example respecting the dancing floor: We do not cross the dancing floor even when it is empty, when moving from place to place we follow the periphery of the floor.
We do not stand in the middle of the floor eating or drinking, even if it is empty between tandas, etc..
 
My impression is that arguments like the one described (most likely) originated in a grudge lasting for some time and due to someone disrespecting the traditional codes that exist aat the milongas.
 
There has been some degree of confusion in the last few years due to a big influx of tango tourists that come and do not know the traditional codes. This caused changes in the Argentine dancer behavior that from time to time can cause problems among themselves.
 
Finally, as Pat says "porteños are fallible human beings, too." I entirely agree, being a porteño, and probably more so than people from other latitudes.
 
Best regards, Sergio

 
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