[Tango-L] Lead an invitation that can be ignored or faught

[Alexis Cousein]

Trini y Sean (PATangoS) wrote:
> No, no, no.  These aren't the right words either.  A follower can suggest things
 > but she shouldn't resist or force room or take over.

Whether "resist" is an appropriate word is a matter of semantics. And I disagree
that it's totally unkosher for her to "force room" or "take over", at least if
you understand the context (i.e. don't take the words as if they
came from a military dictionary).

*Of course*, it's all done in the same way as the regular lead: she suggests
changes and listens to the response, in the same way that the leader *also*
has to suggest the original lead and listen to the response.

I'm not advocating a War of the Roses on the dance floor, but a conversation
is more than one partner incessantly talking and the other one just nodding in
quiet acquiescence.

But "suggest" is also the wrong word to me because the follower usually
by definition isn't leading: the leader suggests (which is what makes him the leader),
and the follower responds. In that response there may be other suggestions than
what the leader originally intended, but that's actually resisting in my book (or
"modifying", but that's word whose meaning would be hard to grasp without context).

Hard to convey in words, but easy to feel.

 > Few women I encounter are good about being able to interpret the music.

Fancy that. I was going to say that about most men -- they're usually too engrossed
in the steps to notice the music too much, while the women can *choose* when to act
and *can* actually listen to the music with more than a quarter brain. Even when the
men actually do manage to make a sequence that fits, it takes a good follower
to get the timing *exactly right*, in my experience.