[Tango-L] Tips for Followers?

[Astrid]

> Before I went I scanned the last couple of years of TANGO-L archives for
> pointers on following, since I went to learn how to follow.  I found
> enough on leading to fill a doctoral dissertation but almost nothing on
> following - unless you count followers complaining about bad leading!

The reason for this is that followers don't seem to have much of a voice on
tango-l. I have met some lurkers in private mail who never post a word
because "they are too well known" in their community and are worried, the
word will get around and men won't dance with them anymore, or something
like that. Those women that do have a voice and use it, often either get
flamed, ignored, or, as I have also been told, a number of men here simply
"do not read postings from females by principle" on this list. I have never
seen you answer any of my postings either over the years, Larry.
So, after having men tell everybody how women feel and teaching us women to
feel the way they told us we are supposed to feel if we don't, we now have a
male poster learning how to dance as a follower and telling the other list
members what following is "really like". Isn't this great? ; ) At least you
will get some attention, Larry.

> Following is not passive.  It includes communication using the silent
> language of our bodies, with followers doing much active "listening."

this is true.

> At first with each partner I was a bit tense but as we became acquainted
> and I found I could trust her my body relaxed.

You were lucky.

> My left arm rested along the top of her shoulders in close embrace.  I had
> to fine-tune how heavy or light I rested it.  Too little and our
> connection was poorer; too much and the weight would become painful.

The left arm is also for fine tuning your distance from the partner, the way
you want it. I have on a few rare occasions had to put some force into my
arm to keep a man from closer than I wanted him to, and a number of
interesting times I have rested it more lightly than the man expected,
raised my elbow a little and soon he would, different from his usual habit,
slide into the embrace and hold me closer than anybody else. ; )
>
> A couple of leaders positioned me further away and had me place my left
> hand just above her biceps.  With this I had to learn not only to keep my
> arm from drooping but also to grasp firmly but not painfully.

Yeah, the stage dancers, those who feel uncomfortable, or cannot lead you
otherwise (without using their arms?) and those who have not mastered
enough tortion in their bodies for coping with close embrace.
>
> I had some trouble leaning into my partners the way they wanted and still
> need to work on this.  I always thought that my slight forward lean as a
> leader would be the same as a follower, but there seem to be subtle
> differences that go beyond mere physics.

Yep. Also keep in mind that you are, after all, a man leaning on a woman who
is probably also shorter and lighter than you, so the physics mauy be very
different from the real thing. Find a man who is taller and stronger than
you to get the idea.
If you see some Argentines, the angle of the woman's lean is at times much
wider than that of a man. But it takes plenty of skill in following AND in
leading to dance like this. Men who walk with their weight on their heels or
heels first and body straight up would make you extremely uncomfortable in
this position.

 I suspect that only experience will fine-tune this.  And I wonder if
women's jokes about men followers needing to wear high heels are more than
jokes.  I always thought heels were just for looks, but maybe they give
followers some real benefits.

The high heels of the shoes give the woman contact with the floor while she
is walking backward on the balls of her feet and her heels, obviously, are
up in the air. Without heels, her walk gets a bumpy, bouncy quality we don't
want, unless she constantly wants to be suspended on her toes (rather tiring
in the long run) which is not very stable. The heels however also present an
additional challenge to keeping our balance and make the arch of the foot
and the back very sensitive to injury if a man decides to bear down on our
shoulders with his weight, something that many men are blissfully unaware of
or don't want to know. ("Get your balance and your body tone together,
woman, to become more user friendly!", seems to be their idea)
>
> I've long looked down on the 8-count basic.  As a beginning follower I
> appreciated it because once my leader started it I knew just what to do,
> unlike the nervous uncertainty when any step could bring a surprise.

Yes. however, the uncertainty is the whole point in tango. A good leader can
lull a woman into a dance trance while making her follow his body's moves
without thinking into whatever direction. However, I have spent evenings at
milongas where every single leader used exactly the same steps until my body
almost went into automatic pilot, and this is counterproductive and also
very boring.