[Tango-L] The cabeceo and its use ( Was Vol ## ???)

[NANCY]

--- On Wed, 6/4/08, Darlene Robertson <luv2dancetango at yahoo.com> wrote:

> 
> I just returned from BsAs and am thankful for the
> timeliness of this discussion.  What I found to be
> interesting is that our BELOVED cabaceo isn't used
> everywhere.  Men simply had no problem asking me directly
> to dance and I witnesses first hand that others were asked
> directly (Argentines by Argentines, etc.).

In a few practicas, that is true and in Nino Bien on one night only.  You may think you are seeing Argentines asking women at their table, but what they are doing is greeting the women they already know and whom they know wish to dance that particular set with them. They may have done a cabeceo which you did not see - it can be no more than a flicker of the eyes or a raise of the eyebrows and a slight smile in return. I often see guys headed my direction from a hundred feet away and I know they are coming for me because to get a cabeceo  from that distance might be impractical.  But any man whom I do not know who shows up with his hand out for a dance is ignored.  That is the trick of the really bad dancers who are taking advantage of the tourist women who would unlikely turn them down out of politeness. And the milongas are now about 40% bad dancers and it gets worse every year. A newcomer to the milongas gets rushed by all the men:  the good, the bad,
and the smelly. When you are sitting with the portenas and you can speak castellano you will know how they/we go out of our way NOT to look at certain guys even if they have us in their gunsights for 30 minutes.  One guy told me he knew when I didn't want to dance because I took my glasses off and when I put them on, I was ready for a cabeceo.

It is unwise to make generalizations after such a  limited experience.  You will not be reprimanded for breaking The Code, but you will be noticed and not in a good way.