[Tango-L] Creating a strong connection

['Mash]

On Wed, Jan 23, 2008 at 12:09:46PM -0500, Virginia Nicholson wrote:
> Hi there,
> 
> This is my first posting to the tango L-list so be nice!
> 
> I have a question...I'm a follower and I've been dancing for about two
> years. I've been practicing with a steady partner, but I still go to
> milongas and dance with other people, so I can tell that my partner
> and I lack the deep connection that I sometimes experience with my
> favorite leaders, that sense of a silent conversation. My partner has
> good balance and posture and has been dancing for a long time, though
> mostly in open embrace...now we're trying a mix of open and close. I'm
> not sure what's wrong. It's good - just not great. Do any of you
> leaders have any advice? or suggestions for how a to strengthen the
> connection? I apologize for covering what must be well-worn ground.
> 
> Best, VSN

I believe their are two types of connection or two facets of connection. One being the "action-reaction*" the couple has and the other quite simply being the "emotional embrace" the couple has. Lets call that "Connection."

I think that you can be taught to have connection as this is a sensitivity to the other person. On the other hand Connection on comes from whether you are both sharing in something, atmosphere, music or even just the embrace. I think it is as simple as wanting to be held by each other and to share the moment. I think if you have the desire to just stand still holding your partner and she/he feels the same way then their will be connection, I can actually tell if there will be connection between us just from the way she holds my left hand. 

And no I don't believe this Connection has to be a sexual thing, though I will admit it does add to it. Connection I belive is the desire to really listen to the other person. I actually have quite good connection with my male teacher and this comes from the fact that I have the utmost respect for him and do on many occasion hug him on greeting.

I think in all one has to work on connection the same way you work on any technique, but for Connection there has to be something more and I think that comes from mutual trust and the desire to hold and listen to each other.

'Mash
London,UK

*Lex III: Actioni contrariam semper et æqualem esse reactionem: sive corporum duorum actiones in se mutuo semper esse æquales et in partes contrarias dirigi. - Newton
 
All forces occur in pairs, and these two forces are equal in magnitude and opposite in direction. - Newton