[Tango-L] Gender Imbalance

[Ecsedy Áron]

My 2 cents:

I believe there are several things in Western society that promotes the 
gender imbalance.

One of them is women's failure to make dancing something that is 
_required_ for meeting them. It is now considered absolutely normal, 
that women per definitionem are able to dance at some level (as in 
nightclub), but men are OK if they are just drinking beer at the bar. 
Even in places where dancing is more popular, women whom are able to 
dance well vastly outnumber dancing men. If women would at least declare 
that they _expect_ "real men" to be able to (partner) dance, the 
situation would be a lot different. Many men believes that dancing is a 
sissy type of thing only women do (at least until a few years ago, this 
was the case in Hungary - many dancers put an awful lot of effort to 
change that: result is when I say I'm a tango teacher the answer is 
invariably "wow, tango is very hard to learn isn't it?" and after a few 
minutes of talking, people ask me about courses and locations).

Within existing communities, the average follower does not tend to 
indicate that she would gladly dance with the guys trying to get a 
dance. Cabeceo was invented for this reason, and really: I can't really 
find anything more interesting (and effective). However, it only works 
well if ladies distinguish between partners and pay attention to those 
they want to dance with. Most lady dancers take whomever asks them to 
dance - mostly because of the gender balance - with the exception of 
dancers they consider bad or repulsive, but it is very hard to see who 
they really prefer. This also creates a situation where men feel that 
they have to do nothing to get partners. There is no challenge, and 
therefore: little reward and little sense of success. If women would be 
more keen to play the GAME, then men would feel that they have to really 
pay attention to the women and would be more into the type of dancing 
that promotes less show, more _real_ tango: guys would face that 
mastering tango is really mastering how to please a women while dancing 
and not just mastering steps. Of course, while a guy in the majority 
urban population may socialize without the possibility of (his ego) 
getting hurt, this is not an easy thing to attract guys with such a 
"dangerous" environment, however the overall "feeling" of the milongas 
would be a lot more sexy and therefore the public perception of tango 
dancing would be more appealing (sex sells - especially among men). All 
in all the possibility of being rejected is a lot lower than at a club, 
where no partner dancing is involved. (Oh yes: the idea that men 
generally learn tango for the sake of tango - it is rubbish. My 
experience is: 5 out of 10 guys does tango to meet women or to learn a 
dance with which they can meet women, or consider it a training to learn 
how to handle women, so they are more successful with them. The other 5 
already came with a girlfriend/spouse...)

Cheers,
Aron


-- 
Ecsedy Áron
***********
Aron ECSEDY

Tel: +36 20 66-24-071

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