[Tango-L] Why doesn't this happen in BA?

[Deby Novitz]

I think since I live here, and dance here, I might be a better person to 
respond to this, rather than someone who has just visited here.

KEITH WROTE

"I think most peiople who have danced outside the milongas of BsAs will recognise 
the problems you're describing. The question is, why do these problems NOT occur 
in the milongas of BsAs and, IMHO, the answer is obvious. The codes of the
milonga prevent it. "

CHRIS WROTE
"This is a misunderstanding. The codes of BA milongas prevent nothing. They 
are simply a description of prevalent behaviour."

My Answer:
Sorry, Chris, but I do not agree.  In the traditional milonga people respect the codes.  We know what they are.  The behavior comes from the respect of the codes.  In some ways the codes are changing.  They are a little bit more informal. But they are still in place.  If you go to what are termed practicas or the tourist milongas, the codes may or may not exist.  

Believe me, we have our own issues here.  I do agree with Brick, the DJ is not responsible for the etiquette of the milonga.  How can they be?  They are too busy dealing with the music.  The behavior is set by the organizer of the milonga. Those of us here in Buenos Aires know what to expect by who the organizer is.  We know the crowd it will attract.  We know the music that will be played.

Many organizers here will not tolerate same-sex couples on the dance floor.  Some wait until the tanda is finished to tell them, others ask them to leave the dance floor. Others will permit it.  Some organizers consistently announce when necessary for the women to keep their feet on the floor, others ignore it.  
 
KEITH WROTE:
The use of the cabaceo should be encouraged even if everybody knows everybody 
else. Clearing the floor during the cortina should be encouraged. Not dancing 
consecutive tandas with the same partner should be encouraged. 


MY ANSWER:
I would have to agree with Brick.  While I agree it is nice to have the cabaceo and the clearing of the floor and the consecutive tandas, in some communities it just is not possible.  When I lived in the U.S. I always asked men to dance. I would NEVER do that here.  

The actual codigo for tandas also includes no more than 2 tandas with the same person.  To dance a consecutive tanda and/or more than 2 tandas sends a message that you are interested in something more than tango OR that you are with your pareja (partner).  

If you have a small tango community of 40 people, how can any of these codigos apply?  I think that as long as the codigos are respected when people come here is the important thing.  The attitude of "I am just a dumb tourist, what do I know" is not an acceptable excuse.

KEITH WROTE:
If these 3 simple codes are adopted, most of your problems will be solved. Oh, I'll 
add one of my own - teaching on the floor should be banned upon pain of death  :-) .

MY ANSWER:
The we will have other problems.  There are always problems.  But trying to have a pleasant evening, and remembering that tango is a social dance not an Olympic competition would be a good start.  As for teaching on the dance floor....it should be banned.  It never happens to me.  Every once in awhile someone who does not know me, and really is not a very good dancer will make "suggestions" so that I can dance like an Argentine.  My standard answer is "Perhaps you would prefer to dance with someone else."  That seems to shut them right down...along with "I can't find your lead..."

KEITH WROTE:
One final point. Most of these problems are created by men. Please don't look 
to the ladies to solve them. Mostly it's the men who need to be educated although
the ladies will need equal education on the use of the cabaceo.

MY ANSWER:
(I seem to be the male advocate these days) Not all these problems are caused by men.  Lots are caused by women too.  When I lived in California I remembered women running onto the dance floor to ask my partner to dance BEFORE the tanda had ended.  I remember women circling the floor like vultures over the men and not letting them go when the tanda ended. I remember women with their arms folded and glaring at a man while he danced with someone else.  Women  can be just as competitive as men and just as rude.  (We are equal, remember?) Again, I defer to the organizer to set the tone and example.