[Tango-L] Conflict

[Jay Rabe]

Keith, I wasn't in any way telling you how to post. I merely pointed out that one of the costs of conflict and flame wars is an unwelcoming environment for new dancers. And I pointed out that IF one values growing the community, and IF one values a list that is productive in discussing substantive issues in tango, then the guidelines proposed would help achieve those goals. If you don't value those things, then feel free to carry on as you have in the past.        J

> From: keith at tangohk.com> To: tango-l at mit.edu> Date: Sun, 30 Sep 2007 03:08:01 -0400> Subject: Re: [Tango-L] Conflict> > Hmmm. I don't mind people giving their opinions on whatever they want, provided I have the opportunity to reply. And I don't mind being > flamed for anything I might say. People can say whatever they want - I'm a very liberal guy. > > But one thing that really gets up my nose is when people start to tell me HOW I should give my opinions.> > Jay, I stopped listening to nannies a long time ago. You post in your way and let others post in their way.> > Keith, HK> > On Sun Sep 30 2:33 , Jay Rabe sent:> > >to all that Brick said, I'll add:> > > >There's another hidden cost to the community: There are people who lurk on the list, just reading and learning and forming impressions, who > see these ridiculous flame wars, these vicious personal attacks and lack of giving anyone the benefit of the doubt in such an imperfect > communication medium as email, and say, "this is not for me," and are lost to the community without anyone ever even knowing.> > > >Rules for avoiding conflict on mailing lists:> >from:> >http://www.madmanweb.com/archives/0102avoiding_personal_conflict_on_mailing_lists.html> >1. Attack the opinion, not the person.> >2. Avoid sarcasm. It doesn't come across well in email, which doesn't transmit tone of voice or facial expression.> >3. When you disagree with someone, say just that. Saying, "I disagree" is not the same as "You're wrong". > >4. When possible, show empathy for the receiver. > >5. Don't be cryptic. Say what you mean, as simply and straight-forward as possible. Avoid innuendo.> >6. When in doubt over what the other person meant, ask him or her. Don't assume anything. Real wars have been fought over assumptions.> >7. Humor is always good to diffuse a tense situation. When you suspect that the other person may misinterpret you, use emoticons.> > > >All of this of course assumes that everyone on the list sees value in the list being free of conflict...> > > > J> >TangoMoments.com> >> > > _______________________________________________> Tango-L mailing list> Tango-L at mit.edu> http://mailman.mit.edu/mailman/listinfo/tango-l
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