[Tango-L] Nina critique of Milonga invite, cabaceo revisited

[Astrid]

Nina wrote:
 "may I dance this tanda with you?"  is an
> almost full-proof invitation that will result in a yes (please note
> that I suggested "may I dance with you?", instead of "woul you like to
> dance?"
> Again, if there is a vision impairement, there are other creative
> things to say to a woman:
> - My life will be ruine if you do not dance this tanda with me.
> - I may never dance tango again if we do not dance this tanda.
> - I had a dream of dancing this exact tanda and the person was you!
> - If we dance this now, it could be amazing and unforgettable.
> Etc., etc.
> Cabeeo is the only way, but if a person cannot see well, the words
> must be sensitive and poetic when addressing women.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Frankly, I fail to understand where the problem is. In my experience, most 
invitations to dance are extended silently anyway, whether it be cabeceo, 
approaching my table with a smile and a nod when I notice him coming, an 
outstretched hand or whatever. I will accept
-if I know the man from tango and like him
-if I know him as a reasonably good dancer
-if he is attractive
-if he looks like a talented beginner

I will not accept
-if I know the man and dislike him
-if I have danced with him before or watched him with other women and know
 -that he is a bad dancer
-that his hold is uncomfortable
-that he has no sense of rhythm and they are playing a milonga or some other 
really enchating music
-that he is on the prowl rather than there to dance and everyone has been 
turning him down
-or if he is dressed/groomed in a way showing disrespect to the tango

In all these cases, it does not really make any difference WHAT the man says 
to me.
Girls, watch the guys dance before you accept an invitation. Who wants to 
buy a cat in the sack and then end up with an unpleasant, unnecessary 
experience, and have to patiently hang in there for at least 3 minutes 
unless you want to make a spectacle of yourself?
When a man walks up to my table, I have usually seen him already. And Nina, 
I agree that women may love with their ears, but in a milonga it is the eyes 
and the body- unless they fall in love with the music.
Facit: an invitation to dance (and it's acceptance) is not an act of 
cerebral cleverness and glib or romantic seduction. It is usually the result 
of a chain of preceding events. .