[Tango-L] Dancing with old guys/ Cyrano de Bergerac (???)

[Astrid]

> This is very simple - older men have more experience with women.  In
> every way.  They know better what to do with women in dance and in
> life.  And how to do it.

I think that at least for Japan, this is very true. Maybe we can compare 
observations, girls:
here the young men (23-32 or so) are often shy, tense and slightly distant 
and withdrawn when they dance (not the Argentines, the Japanese) and they 
have sort of a slightly sterile shallow quality to them in their dance. The 
older men, over 40, who have been married for years, are often very 
comfortable and relaxed with women, don't worry about what impression they 
make and what is going to happen to them if they connect to the woman (!, 
this may actually the worst problem of the young ones, it scares them I 
think !) but are more confident and openly sensuous. You can feel the 
difference in the way their embrace feels, strong, steady and warm. The 
older ones also at times have that sense of humour that typically develops 
in people over fourty who have become more comfortable with who they are and 
accepting of what they are in life.
>
> Men who have mastered the art of romance (because for women,
> seduction begins with romance), dance even better when they are older
> because they have more experience with that too.

Yes, probably true, self confidence comes with mastery and experience.
>
> For those who want to dance tango well in spite of their younger age,
> I recommend reading very carefully Edmond Rostand's "Cyrano de
> Bergerac".  Or at least seeing the movie with Gerard Depardieu...  It
> has everything in it.
> Cyrano was terribly vain.  He never showed up for Roxanne in life
> because of his vanily and fear of rejection.  He thought that she
> loved beauty and youth.  He could not see that she loved him.

??? I may be wrong here because I only saw the movie and in French at that, 
but in my version:
Cyrano was not incredibly vain but rather, incredibly ugly (Depardieu, yes, 
probably worse in the novel) but he was a great poet. His young friend was 
handsome but not much of a talker. So they showed up together to romance a 
girl, the young guy showing himself under her window, and Cyrano hiding 
behind the bushes and doing the talking and the love letter writing too.
>
> Tango is the dance of Cyranos.  Young age and beautiful looks only go
> so far.  But can a man romance the woman?  The older men know things.

Well, I don't know about that. Maybe you can elaborate a bit on this, Nina, 
what you mean buy this Cyrano comparison. For one thing, most older men are 
not as ugly as Cyrano. It is true, while we dance we don't see his face, 
most of the time. And he is talking with his body. (Cyrano never did 
that...) At the same time it is hard to forget who we are dancing with, we 
can smell him, we can feel his skin and it all feels different from a young 
man. But an interesting comparison still. And it says a lot about what 
happens if you only go for the packaging, not for the contents. You may end 
up with a nice looking empty box...

Astrid