[Tango-L] Igor's question: A man's perspective

[Sergio Vandekier]

Finally we arrived to equating masculinity with confidence. One of the male characteristics that in some way I initially described as " the man being poised"  : 



a state of balance or equilibrium, as from equality or equal distribution of weight; equipoise. 



2.
a dignified, self-confident manner or bearing; composure; self-possession: to show poise in company. 



3.
steadiness; stability: intellectual poise. 
 
Man in Argentine society like in tango is confident, he is in charge, he knows where he wants to go and how to get there or at least he projects an image of knowing even when he does not know. This cultural characteristic is present in Tango.
 
He moves without hesitation, with authority, and certain arrogance.  
 
He needs the woman and her femininity. He wants her for himself and seeks her attention. He adores her and expects her to spend time with him.  He knows that the most valuable thing she can give him is her femininity. Something that he does not have and only a woman can give him. This is her strength and he is conscious about it.
 
Now when you have a beginner man who has to concentrate in the music (which he does not understand), that has to concentrate in his foot work (which is very difficult, even when doing a simple walk), at the same time in leading the woman (something that he cannot do) and also to avoid collisions, following the line of dance, staying on the periphery of the floor (something that he frequently forgets to do).
 
How can he be poised and have confidence?   
 
How can he have confidence when the woman that is his companion learns to dance faster than he does, when she seems to be dancing and following the instructor or other dancers with ease, yet she has lots of problems following him.
 
He has no confidence, he moves with hesitation, his face red with rage, while his partner assumes a posture of passive victim, dancing with hopeless number. 
 
No wonder he finally quits, his ago and confidence shattered into small pieces.
 
So now let's go and create a method of teaching men to dance tango that prevents and avoids these problems.
 
Good luck, Sergio
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