[Tango-L] Holding a Baby on a Swing

[Keith]

I really don't understand why some men have this need to think of their partner in any way other than as their dance partner. No, my 
partner is not a little baby on a swing and I can't think of anything that would be more likely to take away my tango mood. 

But, more importantly, I have big problems with the words 'suggest' in item 1 and 'interpret' in item 2. This seems to say that the man 
gives some king of signal, which the woman then has to think about, 'interpret' and then decide what to do. I don't agree with this 
approach. If she wants to, the woman should be able to turn her brain off completely, think about nothing, interpret nothing, decide 
nothing and just follow the man - and this is what many [most?] women want. If the woman wants to be more activley involved in the 
dance, of course she can be - but the man's lead should still be such that the woman has no choice about what the next step will be. 
However, the expert follower can do many things in making that step and in suggesting how to continue the dance. The man can choose to 
listen or not, but once he leads the next step, the decision has been taken and the woman must make the step that has been led. I will 
concede that there are rare occasions, with special women, where this can change - but rare is the operative word and a man's dance 
shouldn't be based on this idea. 

The man should listen to the woman and give her time to contribute to the dance, but his leads should not be open to interpretation. 
They should be clear and unambiguous. That's my opinion.

Keith, HK


On Mon Dec 24 22:22 , Tango For Her  sent:

>Leaders, imagine your follower as a baby on a swing AND the baby is not strapped in.  It is your job to move with the baby, holding it 
and not impeeding with its motion.  You want the baby to feel the momentum and pauses in the swing.  But, you want the baby to feel, and 
be, secure.  
>   
>  It's a way of moving with your follower and not restricting her movement at the points where she she should feel momentum and 
pauses.  You see, you suggested the momentum and you suggested the pause, but, it is the follower who is free to intensify those 
feelings.  This is part of what I mean when I say that women can dance, so I go along for the ride (to an extent).  
>   
>  A step is in three parts.  
>   
>  1. The leader suggests the direction and feel of the step.
>   
>  2. The follower interprets what the leader has suggested and makes the step.
>   
>  3. The leader follows the follower through the step.
>   
>  Given that sequence, the leader merely suggested the motion.  It is the follower who is taking you through the motion.  You could ( 
you don't have to ) imagine that you are along for the ride.  You could ( you don't have to ) imagine that you are along for the ride to 
take care of her ( make sure you are not throwing her off balance, assist her if she becomes off balance, etc ).  When you do this, you 
could imagine that you are there, for the same purpose, taking care of a baby on a swing, where the momentum and the pauses are big and 
balance is pretty darn important.