[Tango-L] Don't blame your follower

[Keith]

B,

"you were supposed to lead it...." is absolutely the correct response and I
just wish ladies would use it more often. And, when a man tries to teach a 
lady a figure during a milonga, I just wish she'd say ... "don't teach me, 
just lead me". Because if he can't 'just lead it', than he certainly can't 
dance it well enough to try teach it.

And, to the comment .. "that's great! he is playing her like a fine violin..".
I agree - yuck!! is the perfect response.

B, if this is your first post, please, let's hear more from you.

Keith, HK



On Mon Dec 17  4:04 , buffmilonguera at aol.com sent:

>(...as she ventures, a little timidly, out from her much safer lurker
>position.....so remember, this is my first time :) )
>
>Bravo Doug and Astrid!!  I am a woman who both leads and follows - many
>times back and forth during a single evening,  depending on the
>crowd...and while there is an obvious difference between the two - I am
>a equal partner in the dance no matter which role I have....once I was
>watching a beautiful woman dance with a man who was leading - really
>admiring her adornments, musicality, beautiful footwork, and nuance - I
>couldn't wait to dance with her - when a guy standing next to me said,
>"that's great! he is playing her like a fine violin......."  yuck!!
>This passionate, beautiful dancer described as an inanimate object that
>he "uses,"  Maybe it is oversensitive to have such a strong reaction to
>imagery that other folks use to describe their tango....but part of it
>comes from the experience of being told "follows only really need to
>learn to follow," having inexperienced (or worse, experienced) leaders
>wrestling with you to "get" gancho after gancho after gancho - and
>those are usually the same leads who will violently twist your
>shoulders over and over to get you do the boleo they demand, and, my
>favorite, the leads who will stop dead in the middle of the floor
>during a milonga and scold, "you were supposed to do...whatever," to
>which the best response, that most follows are too gracious to say, is,
>"you were supposed to lead it...."
>
>(...now she tentatively hits the send button, a little worried about
>the reaction she'll get but committed to being part of a
>community/conversation about a dance she is obsessed with.....)
>
>b
>