[Tango-L] Don't blame your follower ... and don't blame others!!!
Keith
keith at tangohk.com
Sun Dec 16 00:42:22 EST 2007
TFH,
I competely agree with what you say about not blaming the follower and find it ironic that I should be on the receiving end of your
lecture. Not long ago, I was making the same argument to other leaders who were blaming their followers - where were you when I need
you :-). So, have I changed my position? - NO. Saying a girl is not skilled enough execute a figure is certainly not to blame her for
any problems that arise when the figure is led but not executed well. It's still the leaders fault because he shouldn't have led the
figure in the first place. If the girl's skill level is below yours - always dance to her level - or slightly above to challenge her
and to help her improve.
BTW, my reply was based on the reasonable assumption that you didn't intend for her to hit your leg during the Boleo and I still
can't imagine why you would want to do that. But, if that's what you want to lead - that's your business, not mine.
OK, I'll try being nice - I've been told that before. But I'm not sure what more I can do. It just seems like the guys on the list
are unable to accept any form of criticism or even perceived criticism. Sorry if that's still not being nice enough.
One final question to the many expert followers out there. If I guy overled a Boleo, would you follow though and hit the guy's leg or
would you control the Boleo and not hit his leg? I admit I don't know the 'correct' answer.
Keith, HK
On Sat Dec 15 14:12 , Tango For Her sent:
>This is a reply to "Re: [Tango-L] Boleo/ contra-boleo"
>
> Tango For Her wrote:
>
> And, one surprising aspect, for the woman, is that if it is led correctly, her foot will wind far enough around to hit you in your
>thigh! They tend to like the fact that they appear so flexible.
>
> Keith Wrote:
>
> I don't agree that if the woman's leg swings around too far and hits the man's leg, that this demonstrates that the Boleo has been
led
>correctly. On the contrary, it could easily demonstrate that the man has over-rotated or has injected too much energy into the lead.
It
>could also demonstrate that the lady is not yet skilled enough to control her Boleo. Either way, there's a problem.
>
>It's important to remember that leading a snappy Boleo doesn't depend on force but on timing the change of direction precisely. And
after the sharp change of direction, it's important to slow the woman down so that the over-rotation described in the previous post
doesn't occur.
>
> Tango For Her is writing:
>
> Ha! One of the very, very best teachers in the world once told me, while teaching me the contra boleo, that, it you lead it
correctly, you "can" make the woman's foot hit your thigh. Sorry. I should not have written "will hit ...". I didn't realize that
it would turn into a stranger telling me that I had a problem! You see, if you don't lead it correctly, you may not have as much
energy in the boleo as you could. If you do lead it correctly, you really CAN make the woman's foot hit your thigh!
>
> Let it be known. I do agree that if her foot hit my thigh that I over led it.
>
> Read on to learn how "dancing for the woman" is the best way to improve AND the best way to make the woman happy. It's a
mindset. But, if you stick with it, you'll get it ...
>
> I don't agree that, if that happened, then it could imply that the woman is not yet skilled enough to control her boleo. Oiy!
Women, do you hear that? What a mindset! I dance with a phenominal follower and, if I want, I can easily make her foot hit my
thigh. I have been blessed to have had two long-term partners that I consider to be amongst the best followers in the U.S.A. And, I
can tell you that I CAN lead both to do all kinds of boleos, sometimes, with their foot touching my thigh. Read on. You'll find
that most women find it amazing!
>
> I really think that the only time that a woman might want to "control" her boleo is when the dance floor is crowded. And, even
THEN, I have the mindset that if I am dancing with a woman that likes to do huge boleos even when I lead small boleos, and the dance
floor is tight, that it is up to ME to, perhaps, not lead boleos. Hey leaders! Stop blaming your followers!
>
> A great leader will always see that the shortcomings of a movement, or feeling, in tango, is his fault, not his follower's fault.
Women are always telling me that other leaders spend a lifetime telling them that this is their fault and that is their fault.
>
> So, I ask them. "Do you like their dancing?"
> When they say, "Not really".
> I say, "Well, that isn't your fault either.".
>
> At any rate, I CAN make my follower's foot hit my thigh with a contra-boleo and, when I do, it ISN'T because she isn't good
enough! Have I said, "Oiy!", yet?
>
> I do alot of moves that involve a strong twist of the woman's waist because the feedback that I get is "Do more of those!!!".
Once in a great while, with the contra-boleo, her foot touches my thigh. If I mention it. She says that, actually, she likes it ...
EVERYTIME! Imagine that! It wasn't a problem! She liked it!
>
> I get that some women might be shy when they reply that they liked it. I get that once in a great while, I lead just a touch too
far ... and I correct for it. Hey! Imagine that! It wasn't her fault, again!!!
>
> Furthermore, must we ALWAYS lead "snappy" boleos? How boring!
>
> Is it really true that, after the sharp change of direction, it's important to slow the woman down so that the over-rotation
doesn't occur? Sounds like 1-dimensional dancing to me!
>
> Remember, if you always dance for the woman, you will not find her wrong and you will be delighted to find that every dance is
different!
>
> So, for example, after the sharp change of direction, many different feels or techniques could be used. Not just the one
described in the last post! Try it. I promise you, when you learn that level of control, she'll like it!
>
> Again, women are always confiding in me that men are making them wrong. Again, I tell them that if the guy is doing that, then
let it go. He probably isn't going to realize, for a longtime to come, that if he learns to control the dance through his lead,
women will like dancing with him more. It's his shortcoming, not hers!
>
> Keith, if you have a problem with the way I stated something, try being nice. And, PLEASE, don't follow up MY 1-dimensional
statement with ANOTHER of your own!
>
> P.S.: To all of my followers: Do your boleos just the way you like. I will not say that you are not skilled enough if there was
a problem. Matter of fact, I might just change my lead a little, next time. Tango IS a conversation, right?
>
> Besides, if I dance for you rather than for me, you might actaully want to dance with me, again!
>
>
>
>
>Keith keith at tangohk.com> wrote:
> I don't agree that if the woman's leg swings around too far and hits the man's leg, that this demonstrates that the Boleo has been
led
>correctly. On the contrary, it could easily demonstrate that the man has over-rotated or has injected too much energy into the lead.
It
>could also demonstrate that the lady is not yet skilled enough to control her Boleo. Either way, there's a problem.
>
>It's important to remember that leading a snappy Boleo doesn't depend on force but on timing the change of direction precisely. And
>after the sharp change of direction, it's important to slow the woman down so that the over-rotation described in the previous post
>doesn't occur.
>
>Keith, HK
>
>On Fri Dec 14 8:33 , Tango For Her sent:
>
>>And, one surprising aspect, for the woman, is that if it is led correctly, her foot will wind far enough around to hit you in your
>thigh! They tend to like the fact that they appear so flexible.
>>
>
>
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