[Tango-L] Who leads what who follows what

[rockies@comcast.net]

 -------------- Original message ----------------------
From: <doug at swingfusion.com>
> I am lead.  Have been instructed to always lead very footfall of follow,
> every weight change of follow, every boleo, gancho usw..  Follow adds style,
> follow adds embellishment.  I shape dance, she adds nuance.  I lead beats,
> phrasing, musical structure of dance.  Follow works within structure to
> create intricacy.
> 
>  
> 
> Questions - How common is this attitude in tango?  Is this what most leads
> want?  What most follows want?  Is it de rigueur?

Good for you for having the courage to post Doug! For those who would seek to guide what a person should or shouldn't write about, our best guide is to simply read the posting rules (as we are supposed to!) before joining the list.  There are ways to offer criticism without offense, and also, those who take offense could afford to be less sensitive at times.  This is outside the scope of Doug's question, but is worth saying, as it's the best way to avoid hurt feelings:  be good to each other, people! Try a little compassion and kindness. It will do wonders for your dancing too! help the beginners! You will be surprised at what you get in return.

Anyway, Doug, your question is one that has been visited before on the list,  but phrased differently (or maybe it's just a byproduct):  Is it accepted for the follower to add elements of leading to the dance, and leader to add elements of following? There are two schools of thought to this. Traditional tango teaches that there are the leader and follower. The leader has the responsibilities you defined, and the follower the responsibilities you mentioned for her, although she can only add embellishments that will fit within the dance that the leader is leading. The other school of thought is that it is interesting to allow the follower to lead at times, and so, some couples will actually switch some roles during the dance, without changing the frame. It may not even be apparent to those watching. It's also possible to change the frame and the follower really becomes the leader entirely in the middle of the dance (but I'll leave that out here, as it doesn't seem like you're a
 sking 
about this). Tango traditionalists (of the old school) may not like such an exchange where the follower is 'leading,' even temporarily. It does add an interesting element to the dance however if you are open to it.  There is another way to look at it too however, even within the traditional tango sense- when the leader leads a step, he must then follow the follower to that step. So, the roles are constantly switching back and forth, lead, then follow, lead, then follow, etc. Also, the follower can ask for time to do things within her dance, and it's very good for the leader to listen for these cues, because, if you have a very satisfied follower, you will have more good dances. Tango is all about the follower, and not the leader (this is my opinion, but it is shared by others too). When you give to your partner, you then get satisfaction from the giving to her. It is a simple act to give her time to do something she wishes. So, as an example, when there is the step across aft
 er a s
andwich (I hope you know what the terms are), there is the opportunity for the follower to slow the dance down and take the time do do that step across with an embellishment and timing she chooses. There are other opportunities for the follower to ask for time or the chance to add her own personal style. You should listen to these. One might be a slight resistance to what you are asking, for example, while she takes the time to do something, embellishment or otherwise. Also, be prepared for the unexpected occasionally. If the follower does something that you didn't lead as an accident say, these kinds of things can turn out to add an incredible element to the dance.

Most leaders I've talked to fall into the traditional category (they don't want the follower assuming any of their role). Most followers I have talked to would definitely like to be able to give signals to the leader to be able to do what they wish at certain times that they wish it. But there is another dynamic that is more psychological than anything else - followers do want to be lead, and leaders do want to lead, and each most likely do not want to blur the roles too far because it's just the way we are built, psychologically. This is probably best described in books, such as Johanna Siegman's Tao of Tango. So yes, probably most leaders want what you say, and most followers also want what you say. There will always be some exceptions though, dependent on age, social factors, and personal preferences.

Tango esta en el corazon (pardon my horrible attempt at Spanish, but this is what Alicia Pons said to me, best I can recall)

Randy F



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