[Tango-L] Red Rover

[Nina Pesochinsky]

So create a milonga where ushers seat the men and women 
separately.  Women will not be likely to mosey on over to the men's 
side to ask  in person any of them to dance because it is scary over 
there :-),  so they will have to stay put and wait to be asked to 
dance and everyone will have a chance to choose without pressure.

I like all kinds of milongas in BsAs, but it is important to not have 
expectations that are incongruent with the essence of a particular 
milonga.  Many foreign dancers become disappointed with some milongas 
in BsAs because they expect that it will be about dancing, but the 
core essence is about socializing.  For example, Nino Bien is one 
such milonga.  It is a popular place on Thursday evenings.  Argentine 
people go there to hang out with friends.  Non-Argentine dancers go 
there to dance and so they often feel out-of-tune with the 
surrounding.  Also, bigger venues create different possibilities.

But, seriously, if the purpose is dancing, then the milongas where 
men and women are seated separately are the best.  The important part 
is also that people do not go and seat themselves in a segregated 
area.  They are actually escorted, at least the ladies are, to a 
table.   It often happens that if a foreign woman arrives alone, the 
host of the milonga will find a good place for her, possible with 
Argentine women, or a table where she might feel more 
comfortable.  People in Argentina are very sensitive to each other. 
and milonga organizers in these milongas where people are escorted to 
a table, try to place them well in the milonga.

I hope that you get to go to Argentina soon, Fan.

Warm regards,

Nina


At 09:39 AM 4/2/2007, you wrote:
>On 4/2/07, Nina Pesochinsky <nina at earthnet.net> wrote:
> >
> > When women and men sit separately, women dance a lot more.  They have
> > an equal opportunity to invite and to be available to be invited.
> >
> > The seating arrangement also allows men to be free to choose their
> > partner without obligation to women who sit near by who may be
> > acquaintances or friends.  When a man can choose freely, the energy
> > of the place changes dramatically.  ... Most people dance almost every
> > tanda.
>
>
>
>Well, I don't suppose you could be just making this up, but I have to tell
>you it sounds pretty fantastic. The milongas I attend have never been
>anything so convivial.
>
>It's very easy to spend a sullen evening waiting for a dance and never to
>attract anyone's attention at all. It doesn't help that I'm very proud and
>won't ask a man for a dance. I feel Iike I lose a huge percentage of my
>possibilities because other women are bellying up to the men who I know like
>me and "challenging them to a dance" before those men are able to get to me.
>
>Men feel guilty about saying no to women's invitations, so those of us who
>wait to be invited ... sit.
>
>Fan
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