[Tango-L] Surrender

[Sergio Vandekier]

What follows is what I think tango is about,  other people may have equally 
acceptable different ideas.

Once we accept the fact that there is a masculine attitude in leading and a 
feminine one in following we can discuss other subjects that are equally 
important such as the concept   of "Surrender" in tango dancing.

Remember men and women in tango are equal but they are different.

This "surrender" is required from both partners in traditional tango 
dancing.

There could be confusion between "Submission" and "Surrender".

We own and retain our respective power in surrender in contrast to giving up 
our power in submission.

Yielding and letting go of control in surrender is a high level capacity in 
psychological development.

Trauma in early life may disrupt self development and create profound forms 
of defensive control.

Such a woman or person, develop what is known as "demon lover complex" : has 
a tendency to transfer the hatred to her present lover who reacts by making 
her submissive and both developing a sado-masochistic relationship instead 
of one of surrender.

Possession is followed by abuse and abandonment by the male onto whom the 
woman has submitted all her own power.

In A.Tango the woman won't be able to surrender to her partner, the dance 
and the music unless she can surrender to herself first.

To facilitate this the leader (usually a man) must clearly direct her, 
support and protect her in the frame of his embrace.

If instead the man only controls the woman, she has two possible actions 
that are not desirable:
she submits or she rebels ; she will never surrender.

As to the man executing steps that he has not automatically incorporated 
into his unconscious brings an agenda on his part which interferes with his 
ability to surrender to the connection.

Free floating attention allows the woman to be a receptive organ.  She needs 
to relinquish anticipation of the leaders moves.

The leader should be "in the moment" allowing free associations to flow from 
the internal and unconscious life. Not inhibiting himself with controlled 
thinking.

Summary:

It is not possible to allow the dance to proceed without relinquishing 
conscious control and surrendering to the inner life of that creative 
moment.

To be too conscious of the steps or the technique is to impede the process.

The conscious use of steps and technique should be reserved for the lessons 
and the practice.

Best wishes, Sergio

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