[Tango-L] Leading and following

[Trini y Sean (PATangoS)]

--- astrid <astrid at ruby.plala.or.jp> wrote:

You seem to have missed what Tom said on that. And the
"insufferably arrogant" one when it comes to being a
partner in dance, seems to be, sorry to say, you, at times.
You sound more and more macho, (the way you talk about
women sometimes), in the non-Argentine sense of the word.
-----------

Maybe it's just burn out. For more than 10 years, I was the
guy who tried to dance with everybody. I would watch for
the women who were spending a lot of time sitting out, and
make sure that at least I danced with them. I would do
whatever was necessary to make sure that whomever I danced
with enjoyed their dance, no matter how painful or
uncomfortable is was for me.

Over the past 18 months or so, I have met and danced with a
number of women who don't need to be taken care of. They
are equal partners in making the dance. If I do something
special for them, they know it, and answer with something
special for me.

The women who want to dance *with* me have spoiled me for
those who want to be taken care of, entertained or shown
off *by* me.

I have tried to introduce the idea that the women can share
the responsibility for creating the dance into our
community, but I have been misunderstood, rebuffed, or
coutermanded at every turn. I expected resistance from
certain control freak type leaders, but for the most part,
the resistance is coming from the women. They want to be
taken care of, entertained and shown off. Why would it
matter to them what the guy might want?

So yeah, I'm a little pissed off about it.

Sean


PATangoS - Pittsburgh Argentine Tango Society 
Our Mission: To make Argentine Tango Pittsburgh's most popular social dance. 
http://www.pitt.edu/~mcph/PATangoWeb.htm


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