[Tango-L] Women and Lessons

[Trini y Sean (PATangoS)]

Sean here,

Polly's response to this thread is one of the most
intelligent and well conceived posts that I have read in a
very long time. Way to go!

Sean

P.S. I may be too weird, but I think a 50ish, plump, fully
dressed non-blonde who can express herself in the dance is
much sexier than a skinny young scantily clad bit of blonde
fluff who can't move her own self.

--- ATANGO2 at aol.com wrote:

Is there anything that anyone would wish to become skilled
in that does not require lessons?  Especially if whatever
"it" is involves being one half of a  partnership? 
Especially if one believes that "partnership" implies equal
participation, contribution, and creating mutual pleasure
for each other?

There is a huge difference between being "guided around the
floor" and "leading/following."

In the arms of a more experienced leader, a rank beginner
can be guided (or dragged, as the case may be) through a
myriad of steps, figures, combinations that she has no
understanding of.  (Nor does she need to understand for the
moment. But the longer she goes without understanding, the
longer she will feel like a puppet rather than a partner.)

If she dances with skilled partners who do not compromise
their skills to accommodate, and who might inadvertently
make her feel as if she is an "instant" tango dancer, she
can get the mistaken impression that she is "following"  or
a "good follower."

If she dances with men who do accommodate and compromise
their skills, she will likely get used to being over-led
with arms and hands and not realize it.  After dancing
repeatedly with "pushme-pullyas" when they dance with a
partner who leads with his axis, they are at a loss.  

I've seen women stop taking lessons because their early
partners told them they were doing "great" "fine"
"wonderful" and told them to "just dance with lots of
partners.  You'll catch on."  Giving encouragement is one
thing, instilling over confidence is another.  Women who
have been misdirected into thinking  that all they have to
do is "be there" are missing a wonderful, personal aspect
of the dance, and the fulfillment of understanding and
utilizing the  foundations and techniques for achieving
blissful, skilled social dancing (in either close or open
frame.)

Following involves skills that enhance and enrich the dance
in many ways for both partners.  A skilled follower can add
her personal touch through adornments suggested by the
music.  She controls her axis which improves her 
stability, confidence, and ability to feel and respond to
information received from her leader.  She can move to any
direction in  any timing from any position, provided it
makes sense for her footwork. She learns to adjust the size
and intensity of her steps to match her partner's and the
music.  (A few "naturals" can pick up on some things, but
not the subtleties of finesse, or the dynamics of playful,
technically correct footwork.)

"Advanced" followers do not back lead, anticipate, etc. 
They understand partnering and contribute to the dance
rather than just participate.  They are not completely
dependent upon the leader for their pleasure and they find
their own ways of heightening their enjoyment that do not
disrupt the leader's choreography or their connection with
him or the music.

Some men dance with all new women regardless of age or
appearance. Cool.  There are those who do not.  What
percentage of new followers in your community get danced
with most by "helpful" leaders who are 30ish and under,
blond, very attractive, scantily clad, or any combination
thereof? The longer they remain convinced they do not need
lessons, the longer they can remain being easily pleased by
those who continue to offer their "assistance."  (This
isn't intended to sound negative, just a fact of life.)

Should women take lessons?  Only if they wish to enjoy
tango to its fullest and become the most skillful and
desirable partners they can be.

Polly in Portland

PATangoS - Pittsburgh Argentine Tango Society 
Our Mission: To make Argentine Tango Pittsburgh's most popular social dance. 
http://www.pitt.edu/~mcph/PATangoWeb.htm


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