[Tango-L] You lead I follow

[Deby Novitz]

OK, here I am again your tango big mouth from Buenos Aires...

Pray tell me Gabriel...if the man does not lead, how am I suppose to 
follow?  Or is it as one confused gentlemen told me in San Francisco a 
few years back...since I did not take the classes (Take your pick - 
Pablo Veron, Fabian Salas, Pulpo, etc.) that is why I did not know the 
steps....If I have to dance with you looking at your feet it is because 
I have to figure out what the hell you are doing...if you aren't a 
beginner...this is what I call a mercy dance...with a guy who cannot lead.

Igor:  A woman too, must understand the music and know how to interpret 
it.  This is what I have been told many times about me - I understand 
the music.  The women's rhythm does not always have to be what the man 
is dancing but it has to move with his. A woman can play with another 
part of the cadencia,  a man who understands the music understands 
her...and waits.  This is the seduction of tango..not 500 fancy steps in 
2 minutes. (I know Igor you did not infer that, it is my own sarcastic 
attitude.)

Sean:  By your logic when I was still commuting to Buenos Aires from San 
Francisco, I should have created many problems in San Francisco.  While 
I probably did create many problems (such is my nature)  I doubt you 
will find that it was because I danced with men who were not at my level 
or set impossible standards for other women...and dragged down my own 
dancing at the same time.  I danced with whoever asked me in my own 
community - because this is where I lived.  This is where I came to 
dance...and I wanted to.

Teaching vs helping on the dance floor...unless the other person 
asks..why don't you just enjoy the music.  If the dance was that 
painful, smile at the end of the tanda and say thank you...and don't 
dance with them again.  No one likes unsolicited advice.

A word to those women who do nothing but complain about the level of the 
men in their community.  Go dance salsa.  (They have usually had a few 
trips to Buenos Aires which of course now makes them an expert.)

I don't lead, I will never lead, I don't want to lead..how can I have 
the passion for the music that I have in the arms of a women?  I cannot, 
it is just that simple.  You ask anyone here who dances and they will 
tell you the passion is for the music and to share it with another 
embraced  while moving together.  Why is it here in Buenos Aires when 
you see women dancing together they are not Argentines?  Saying you have 
to lead and dance with a woman because there are no good men to dance 
with?  Hmmm...no good men, wasn't that the title of a book sometime 
back?  Or was that a good man is hard to find or a .....say good night 
Deby...