[Editors] Oh, fellow editors and writers, take a break for this one...

[Teresa Hill]

Thanks a lot, Nancy. Now I'm guffawing in my office and passersby are 
looking at me funny. Funnier than ususal. Terry

Nancy DuVergne Smith wrote:
>
> Hi all
>
> This is passed-on Internet humor…just makes you love our trade,
>
> Nancy
>
> *Subject:* FW: *Analogies Written by High School Students***
>
> 1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides 
> gently compressed by a ThighMaster.
> 2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances 
> like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
> 3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a 
> guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of 
> those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country 
> speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar 
> eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
> 4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was 
> room-temperature Canadian beef.
> 5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes 
> just before it throws up.
> 6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
> 7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.< /div>
> 8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated 
> because of his wife’s infidelity came as a rude shock, like a 
> surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.
> 9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a 
> bowling ball wouldn’t.
> 10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag 
> filled with vegetable soup.
> 11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an 
> eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city 
> and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.
> 12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.
> 13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when 
> you fry them in hot grease.
> 14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across 
> the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having 
> left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka 
> at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
> 15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences 
> that resembled Nancy Kerrigan’s teeth.
> 16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who 
> had also never met.
> 17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was 
> the East River.
> 18. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, 
> only=2 0one that had been left out so long it had rusted shut.
> 19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.
> 20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, 
> this plan just might work.
> 21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not 
> eating for a while.
> 22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, 
> but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land 
> mine or something.
> 23. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender 
> leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
> 24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around 
> with power tools.
> 25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, 
> as if she were a garbage truck backing up.
>
> Nancy DuVergne Smith
>
> MIT Alumni Association | Editorial Director
>
> W98-3rd Fl | 617-253-8217 | ndsmith at mit.edu
>
> http://alum.mit.edu/ | Slice of MIT blog: http://alum.mit.edu/sliceofmit
>
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