I really would prefer that. I don't want to get into flame wars because when I get angry it gets out of control, and I've spent years working on being calm. thanks for taking a viewpoint of equanimity and sifting out the precipitate of harsh feelings that was forming. <br>
<br>yours,<br>-ona k.<br><br><div class="gmail_quote">On Thu, Jun 10, 2010 at 9:13 AM, Anna Bershteyn <span dir="ltr"><<a href="mailto:fiend@mit.edu">fiend@mit.edu</a>></span> wrote:<br><blockquote class="gmail_quote" style="border-left: 1px solid rgb(204, 204, 204); margin: 0pt 0pt 0pt 0.8ex; padding-left: 1ex;">
Hi neighbors,<br>
<br>
2 topics in one:<br>
(1) getting together to hang out<br>
(2) flame wars<br>
<br>
(1)<br>
<br>
In the wake of our building's first flame war, perhaps we'd like to<br>
get together for drinks and finally meet each other. I still haven't<br>
met some of the newer residents! Email me some dates in the near<br>
future that would work for you, and I'll figure out an agreeable time.<br>
<br>
As for a place, we could chill in the front yard (I've had success<br>
making hot dogs in the oven and having a "pretend bbq") or we could go<br>
get dinner somewhere nearby -- there's a place up Ceder St. called Yak<br>
& Yeti that I've heard great things about, ditto a Thai place in<br>
Porter. Let me know what you'd prefer.<br>
<br>
(2)<br>
<br>
I'm not sure if the term is used outside of MIT: a "flame war" is an<br>
exchange of offensive emails typically escalating over several<br>
iterations until the perpetrators get bored with it, or the emails get<br>
so over-the-top that the comedy diffuses the anger that originally<br>
started the flame.<br>
<br>
Every high-occupancy building I've lived in in this area has had flame<br>
wars. Some people find them therapeutic, others annoying, others find<br>
the level of offensiveness offensive. We all have difficult and<br>
complicated things going on in our lives, and in the uninhibited<br>
setting of an email list, our attempts at outreach and self-expression<br>
can come off sounding a bit potent. My personal opinion is that our<br>
building is chock full of cool people but suffers from a lack of<br>
community, and that it's easy to assume the worst of someone you've<br>
never met before. Hopefully we can work toward breaking down the<br>
barriers and getting to know each other soon.<br>
<br>
Anyway, I've seen most buildings deal with flames by creating 2 lists,<br>
one for strictly necessary messages (e.g., moving cars out of the<br>
parking lot) and a second for social invitations, silly jokes, flame<br>
wars, etc. I'd hate to create yet *another* barrier to communication<br>
in the building given that we're already strapped for common space to<br>
interact, but it seems like I'll probably end up needing to make 2<br>
separate mailing lists for those of us who are just too swamped to<br>
handle the deluge of email. (This will soon include me, as I have 6<br>
weeks to write my thesis!)<br>
<br>
Let me know if you have an opinion on this (no need to cc the list),<br>
and happy flaming!<br>
<font color="#888888"><br>
Anna<br>
</font><div><div></div><div class="h5"><br>
On Wed, Jun 9, 2010 at 10:40 PM, Alex Ramos <<a href="mailto:alexisramos@gmail.com">alexisramos@gmail.com</a>> wrote:<br>
> Wow; that was really offensive.<br>
> I think it's pretty obvious that any kind of second-hand smoke is<br>
> detrimental to one's health. This isn't an exhaustive study but here's some<br>
> primary literature showing that outdoor secondhand smoke decreases health in<br>
> children (Figure 2 specifically).<br>
> -Alex<br>
><br>
> On Wed, Jun 9, 2010 at 9:29 PM, Ona Kondrotas <<a href="mailto:ona.faster.k@gmail.com">ona.faster.k@gmail.com</a>><br>
> wrote:<br>
>><br>
>> Dear rdhayman,<br>
>> I am flabbergasted that you even know the word 'balderdash' whilst<br>
>> misspelling 'stoopid' (correctly spelled 'stupid')(. And sir: I don't ask<br>
>> stupid questions; I merely encounter stupidity and banal people or, perhaps,<br>
>> fascist population groups. Thus it was<br>
>><br>
>> Speaking of, I would challenge anyone to show me a conclusive, exhausative<br>
>> study indicating that outdoor second-hand smoke is in any way harmful to<br>
>> you. Whether it is 'offensive' or not is irrelevant.<br>
>><br>
>> you all sound like fags, and I don't mAean like the gay friends of mine<br>
>> who insist on smoking on the roof. at least they're not, say, evegetarians<br>
>> or nine-to-fivers.<br>
>><br>
>> love to all,<br>
>> -ona k.<br>
>><br>
>> On Wed, Jun 9, 2010 at 11:04 AM, <<a href="mailto:rdhayman@aim.com">rdhayman@aim.com</a>> wrote:<br>
>>><br>
>>> You don't sound bitchy. I mean, for fuck's sake, "can we smoke on the<br>
>>> roof?" Balderdash! What a stoopid question. Who gives a shit if most of ur<br>
>>> friends smoke. Gimme a break.<br>
>>><br>
>>><br>
>>><br>
>>> -----Original Message-----<br>
>>> From: Candy Malina <<a href="mailto:candyjoy@earthlink.net">candyjoy@earthlink.net</a>><br>
>>> To: lindengardens <<a href="mailto:lindengardens@mit.edu">lindengardens@mit.edu</a>><br>
>>> Sent: Wed, Jun 9, 2010 10:50 am<br>
>>> Subject: Re: [Lindengardens] Two new policies<br>
>>><br>
>>> No one should be walking on the roof; it is not good for the surface of<br>
>>> it, and will mean that we have to replace the roof sooner, which is a big<br>
>>> expense.<br>
>>><br>
>>> Common areas would be the hallways and foyer (and laundry and storage<br>
>>> rooms), the parking lot and the front yard up to the sidewalk, which I<br>
>>> imagine is the line of our property. Your unit is your private area; people<br>
>>> can smoke in there.<br>
>>><br>
>>> (I am not writing as the "official" word...but I do know that the roof is<br>
>>> supposed to be off limits, and as an owner, I am invested in its lasting as<br>
>>> long as it can. And I am personally very bothered by smoke coming into my<br>
>>> unit through the windows, or having to walk through cigarette smoke in the<br>
>>> hallways.)<br>
>>><br>
>>> Thanks for your cooperation!<br>
>>><br>
>>> Candy<br>
>>><br>
>>><br>
>>> -----Original Message-----<br>
>>> From: Ona Kondrotas<br>
>>> Sent: Jun 9, 2010 9:54 AM<br>
>>> To: <a href="mailto:lindengardens@mit.edu">lindengardens@mit.edu</a><br>
>>> Subject: Re: [Lindengardens] Two new policies<br>
>>><br>
>>> Is the roof a common area?<br>
>>> Where do the delinations of the outdoor common areas end? All my friends<br>
>>> smoke.<br>
>>> Yours,<br>
>>> -ona k.<br>
>>><br>
>>> On Tue, Jun 8, 2010 at 10:30 PM, Charlie Denison <<a href="mailto:cdenison@comcast.net">cdenison@comcast.net</a>><br>
>>> wrote:<br>
>>>><br>
>>>> Hello Linden Gate owners and tenants,<br>
>>>><br>
>>>> As a result of yesterday's Condo Association Annual Meeting, we now have<br>
>>>> two new policies regarding common areas:<br>
>>>><br>
>>>> 1. Grilling is no longer allowed in the outdoor common areas, except<br>
>>>> with the permission of the Board of Trustees<br>
>>>> 2. Smoking is not allowed in the outdoor or indoor common areas<br>
>>>><br>
>>>> If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me or one of the<br>
>>>> other Trustees. Thanks!<br>
>>>><br>
>>>> Charlie<br>
>>>> _______________________________________________<br>
>>>> Lindengardens mailing list<br>
>>>> <a href="mailto:Lindengardens@mit.edu">Lindengardens@mit.edu</a><br>
>>>> <a href="http://mailman.mit.edu/mailman/listinfo/lindengardens" target="_blank">http://mailman.mit.edu/mailman/listinfo/lindengardens</a><br>
>>><br>
>>> _______________________________________________<br>
>>><br>
>>><br>
>>> Lindengardens mailing list<br>
>>><br>
>>><br>
>>> <a href="mailto:Lindengardens@mit.edu">Lindengardens@mit.edu</a><br>
>>><br>
>>><br>
>>> <a href="http://mailman.mit.edu/mailman/listinfo/lindengardens" target="_blank">http://mailman.mit.edu/mailman/listinfo/lindengardens</a><br>
>>><br>
>>><br>
>>><br>
>>><br>
>>><br>
>>><br>
>>> _______________________________________________<br>
>>> Lindengardens mailing list<br>
>>> <a href="mailto:Lindengardens@mit.edu">Lindengardens@mit.edu</a><br>
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>>><br>
>><br>
>><br>
>> _______________________________________________<br>
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>> <a href="mailto:Lindengardens@mit.edu">Lindengardens@mit.edu</a><br>
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>><br>
><br>
><br>
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> <a href="mailto:Lindengardens@mit.edu">Lindengardens@mit.edu</a><br>
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><br>
><br>
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</div></div></blockquote></div><br>